(The 'F' Word), It's Father's Day
Updated: Jun 14, 2019
This time of year can be really hard for grievers who have lost a father...and also for father’s who have lost a child.
Maybe your dad (or child) recently died and this is your first Father’s Day without them.
Or maybe you’re like me and you lost your dad a long time ago.
Either way, the day is going to be hard.
And no matter how long it’s been or how much grief processing you have done, there is a part of you that just HATES this time of year.
People often say:
“You will feel better in time.”
“Time heals all wounds.”
“It’s been years, your should be over the loss by now.”
Trust me, I get it.
I know how you feel.
On June 16, 2019, it will be Father’s Day. But in my house, it will also be my dad’s ‘death-anniversary.’ Yup, I get blessed (insert air quotes) with a double whammy of grief on Father’s Day this year (no, actually most years). And although it will be 20 years since he died, it still really sucks.
They said, “you will feel better in time” and “time heals all wounds.”
Those sentiments are MYTHS
And some days, it feels as if no time has passed at all and I am right back in a grief spin cycle.
Grief is like a garden that needs to be tended. If we ignore it, some funky shit will start to sprout up in our garden. Stuff like, anger, depression, loneliness, and isolation.
But when we tend to our grief garden, give it some attention and care, it eventually turns into a beautiful and special place for us to hang.
Processing our grief is work. But it’s rewarding work.
In this video, I give you the low-down on how to get through Father’s Day if you have lost your dad.
Check out the video:
The first order of business for you to do is to GET CLEAR.
This means that you need to be still and sit with your grief and make a decision of what you want to do on Father’s Day. Do you want to celebrate or memorialize your dad in your own unique and special way or do you want to completely bypass the holiday.
NEWS FLASH: It’s OK no matter which option you choose. It really is.
Secondly, if you make the decision that you will participate in some type of Father’s Day festivities, be prepared that there may be moments where you feel the need to dip out and get away from the gathering if you become too overwhelmed.
MORE GOOD NEWS: That’s OK too.
You are human and humans can get overwhelmed.
Lastly, if you decide to skip Father’s Day all together, do something for yourself.
Take care of you, Boo!
Go out in nature.
Get lunch with a friend who also lost their dad.
Get a massage.
Go to the shooting range
Make some art
Do whatever is going to fill you up on that day.
And on that day, I will be thinking of you. :-)
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW TO GRIEVE LIKE A HUMAN?
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Love to you,
Janeen Mary Chasan LCAT ATR-BC
Licensed, Registered and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Filmmaker, Podcaster and Online Educator